February 7, 2015

Serendipity . . .  the word itself feels like part of a magic chant.  Webster defines it as “the gift of being able to make delightful discoveries by pure accident (coined by Horace Walpole after ‘The Three Princes of Serendip’, a fairy tale.)”

Serendipity is turning up in my life at an accelerating rate. For example, this very blog, Open Heart Press makes its debut in February, the most heart-spangled month of the year.

I did not plan it this way. ‘Pure accident’! That is, if you believe in ‘accidents’. What I believe is that events in our lives happen for us not to us – for our ultimate growth and healing in this lifetime.

But I also think that we get what we give. If we live in our woundedness, believing that life is out to get us, critical, judging, guarded, and generally without joy, then just like a boomerang, this is what life shows us. Kind of like ordering takeout.

What are you ordering? What am I ordering?

If I can ‘be in my body’, aware of constricting muscles, my shallow breathing, my facial expression, my self talk, then I can monitor what I am ordering. And what comes next can be as easy as flipping a switch. Deep, relaxing breath . . . smile . . . let go of the negative chatter. Scatter joy!

I swear it works. Like any habit, though, it gets easier the more we practice.

It is surprising to me just how many of us have a hard time turning on the joy during this ‘heart-spangled month’.

Valentine’s Day gets a bad rap. Even though folks participate, they often do it begrudgingly, out of obligation. There is no love, much less joy in their giving.

I read about the millions spent on flowers, cards and candy, and how that money could (implying ‘should’) be spent on feeding the world’s hungry. A big judgment call there! How do we evaluate and compare the love expressed through the cards and flowers against the food we could be providing?

[The Suzuki Foundation has a fund raising scheme right now that allows us to do both at once – send a Valentine greeting (ecard) for $20 and TSF uses the funds to promote the ban on neonicotinoid pesticides and a generally healthy environment for all species.]

If you are among the Valentine deniers, and wish the so-called saint had never been born, take a look at why you feel this way.  Judging, and holding negative thoughts is exhausting work. What if you were to just let it go?

The Valentine story that Hallmark presents is just that – a story. The day does not have to be about Cupid and lovers. I make it simply about love, not necessarily romantic love. What’s not to like about love?

It’s ‘what the world needs now’ or, according to Lennon and McCartney, it's ‘all you need.’

So relax into your own story while allowing others to do the same. We can pounce on this day and make it about sending love to our planet. Trust me when I say that the act will not be wasted. Like the song says, the world needs love – immediately and desperately.

Imagine that you are throwing seeds onto a fertile field. See them sift down into the soft earth and begin to grow. You are seeding the quantum field with love and harmony, replacing the distribution of angst and repression that weep out of a closed heart.

Even if you are missing a past or passed ‘valentine’, don't hide under the covers.   I can tell you from experience, that the very best medicine for that malady is reaching out to friends to help celebrate February 14th as a day devoted to warm friendship and loving relationships.

Have a party. Get goofy with it. Dress up. Make it a red and white party.

Take a bunch of Dollar Store valentine ‘jewellery’ to the office to distribute. Write anonymous Valentine messages. (‘Your smile makes my day worthwhile’, etc.)

In the end, the day, and life in general, is simply what we wish to make of it. Our story.

I say the more serendipity in it the better. The thing is, you can’t go after it. But you can tempt it, by getting out of your own way, relaxing, and allowing life to flow.
 
-- you don't reach Serendip by plotting a course for it.  You have to set out in good faith for elsewhere and lose your bearings . . . serendipidously.  – John Barth, The Last Voyage of Somebody the Sailor