“In the end,” I once read, “the two questions of life are: How much did you love? How much did you let go?”

It hit me so forcefully that I have never forgotten the quotation. (What I have forgotten, unfortunately, is who said it. Sorry.)

How much did you love? Sure. That’s a given. But, How much did you let go??

The episode occurred several years ago, before I understood the dynamics of ‘letting go’. I have had, since then, a lengthy string of lessons in the meaning of this simple little phrase – physically, emotionally, psychologically, and any other adverb you can throw at it.

The energy of letting go can be liberating, as many of us are experiencing now. Six-year-olds currently sing about it, echoing their Disney heroine, Kristen Bell. Her character, Elsa, belted out Let it Go in the movie, Frozen, and it won the 2014 Academy Award for Best Song, and then shot into Billboard’s Top 100 chart, landing in the top 10. Clearly, there is instant recognition today in the concept of ‘letting go’.

My darlin’ daughter, a veritable font of wisdom, confided to me a couple of months ago, that she had made herself a promise. Each day she would ask herself two questions: How did I nourish myself today? What did I let go?

“And how DO you nourish yourself?” I asked. Then we explored the many ways a woman, or a man for that matter, could nourish their self. She began with yoga, not the heavy duty, rigorous, push-yourself-to-your-edge routines, but restorative yoga, stretching the body in places where it’s calling to you to be released from bondage.

She listed creative and playful endeavors that relax. Playing an instrument for fun; colouring between the lines, taking five minutes to meditate in a beautiful setting, taking a walk, taking a bath with salts and oils and candles.

My list included a refreshing swim, which is more like a meditation than a swim, floating, gazing at the sky, and just letting the silky water ripple over me; sitting somewhere cozy with a cup of tea and a book; arranging flowers, or really anything that feeds my creativity.

Different strokes for different folks. The point is to slow down, connect with our centre, get in touch with our body, with whatever makes us feel good and fuels us, whether it’s taking time out for a favourite TV show, dancing to a favourite tune, or journaling – listing our gratitudes, listening to our deep-down emotions and reconnecting with our soul.

And then there was the ‘letting go’. Of what do you let go? I asked.

“I go through my drawers,” Kira explained, “giving things away. Purging is incredibly freeing.”

But what of the emotional letting go? What are we carrying that needs to be released? Unforgiveness? Woundedness? Grief? Guilt? Anger? Bitterness? It is no secret that when we store these toxins they manifest in our bodies in the form of dis-ease. We may need to go on a diet . . . an emotional diet . . . eliminating the thoughts that make us sick just as surely as toxic foods do.

I began this essay with a quotation about the two questions of life. We have certainly explored the second one but what about the first: How much did you love?

I contend that we have also covered that one. Nourishing one’s self is loving one’s self. And it’s widely recognized that one cannot wholly love another until she loves herself. Can you look into a mirror and say ‘I love you’? Do you congratulate yourself when you know that you’ve done a good job? Are you treating your self as you would treat your best friend? Or are you your worst enemy?

These are important questions for us to contemplate. Listen to your self-talk. Is it encouraging or discouraging? Are you telling yourself that you are a goddess or rebuking yourself for not measuring up?

Hear that little voice. Could it be the old parental, or teacher’s voice that is replaying for the millionth time in your head? The voice that crushed your spirit so many years ago. If so it’s time to change the recording.

Get out that journal and write 100 times: I am light and I am love. Write it on your mirror. Post it on your fridge door. Put it to music. Make it your mantra. Because it’s true, and it’s high time we celebrated it.