Upon Reflection


“August is laughing across the sky”, writes poet Pauline Johnson, in her gorgeous, hypnotic The Song My Paddle Sings. I thought deeply about that today as I walked under the deep blue, puffy white sky. Only a few more hours, I bargained, of August sky for this summer, and I intend to make the most of them.

I laughed right back at her.

It’s always this way for me when September hovers. I can (and do) announce boldly that my summer is not over until September 21st. I cling to my summertime ‘til the dying hours; the equinox arrives on schedule; the world turns; and my foolish fantasies fade into the glow of autumn.

This September, however, is different for me. This will be the first year that I have not returned to the classroom. Or more accurately, it will be the first year that I have not been bound by the classroom culture in something like 50 years. Perhaps I was not teaching, but my children were in school.

It feels a little odd. A little wistful. A bit errant.

And truth be told, when I think back to sitting in that circle of shining faces beaming up, as I share a favourite story, the thought that this too is over makes the wistful becomes weepy.

Is it always like this for retirees? I’m new at the game.

 What I know for sure is that endings are beginnings. And it’s not like I have nothing to replace my former profession; it’s just that one of my greatest joys was sharing beautiful literature with children. I am blessed that I was given this privilege to light up my life for so many years.

And what most readers don’t know is that last June I was completely surprised by staff at James Bolton School with a send-off party. Flowers, gifts, touching sentiments – it was overwhelming, and so unexpected. Truly, my cup was ‘running over’ that June afternoon in the JB library. So upon reflection, I have decided that there is no room in my life for anything less than light and love.

Make way for September! It’s a new day. It’s a new month. It’s a new year.

What will it bring? Depends what we offer it. I plan to celebrate the fact that my phone will no longer waken me at 6:30 AM. And then I’ll find something else to celebrate. And just keep on ‘kissing the joy as it flies’.

Cherish what you love, while you have it. Life is too short to be gloomy.